Faith-Hope and Love

I was reading last night and went upstairs to pray for a little bit~I went back downstairs and thought to write. I began with a prayer-through this prayer I began writing the answers I had been looking for and I wanted to share them with you~








Dear Heavenly Father

Lord I re-committed myself to you not long ago. I promised myself that I would trust in you and walk with you accordingly. The process of change has proven to be very difficult and challenging to say the least. All the things I've held on to in times past I am learning to let go of.
Forgiveness has been something I have embraced but the day to day questions, issue's, and going's on around me have weighed me down and I have yet to learn how to release these things to you thus causing build up to occur and focusing ever so strongly on man.
In doing that I have been let down in so many ways and in being let down I have become angry, frustrated and overwhelmed.

I have allowed circumstance to stir up anger and I have allowed negativity to open doors I worked so hard on closing.

I'm still here and it didn't take 1 or 4 years to recognize (by asking) what is happening. For that I thank you. I feel you pulling me back and telling me you are with me even through the most difficult times and my own ignorance that has continuously pulled me back and forth.

Thank you for being consistent and allowing me to remain consistent. Thank you for loving me through my disappointments and this anger that I have chosen to bottle up over the last week.

I want so badly to belong Lord.
I want so badly to work in an environment that is pleasing to you. Where the talents you gave me are used for your glory and that in the process of teaching and the children learning that the people I work for acknowledge you for what you are and I for what I am through you.
I long for friendships joined together by a bond of mutual love and respect for you. I want to be surrounded of followers of God. It seems just as close as I cane, I came even closer to realizing it was a lie. That hurts me Father. Why is it so difficult to obtain this? How do people lie for the sake of self gratification and when the towers begin to crumble they crumble with them instead of holding on and drawing closer to you and each other. How do we not honor you in everything?

I get so tired of being disappointed but I thank you for always being who you say you are. There is no disappointment in you.

Lord that you would just help me solely believe in you and not be so quick to believe in others. This way when I am let down I won't be so shocked and fueled by anger of another loss.

I have realized however that is good to have fellowship but if it takes me away even slightly from you then it is not of you and fellowship is nothing without you as the head.
My faith cannot be in man but in you and trusting someone else's word is fine as long as it lines up with yours and I proceed with caution. Trusting your word is where our empowerment lies.

~Thank you for helping me understand~

The lessons I have learned hav e been difficult as the process took a while to comprehend. The instant I asked you for an answer, my answers came not a second later and I find solace in knowing that you have just been waiting for me to ask.
Nothing brings me greater joy than to know without a doubt that I can lean on you, I can ask you questions and I don't have to understand everything on my own. You want me to seek answers through you no matter how little they may seem.
The more I rely on you for little everyday things the easier the bigger things will be and the smaller one's won't get so big and out of control.
Help me learn how to release everything in between and take from all of this what you have shown me.

Allow me to walk in Monday morning and stand firm on what you have shown me and my growth in you.
Help me remember what you intended for me to learn and lean on you no matter what falls in around me.
Allow me to walk in refreshed and blessed, trusting and knowing that you will be with me.

Maybe pulling me out of that hallway that I became so attached to was a blessing in disguise, maybe it was for my benefit to be placed in another hallway with true followers of Christ. Considering all I have learned from each individual it seems as if this were in fact the reasoning and you knew it all along.

It's funny how the one person who is left joining me full time is the one who claims to love you the most and the one who did not allow anger to consume her therefore causing her to speak negatively or harshly and the other's have simply faded out. Hmmmm funny how that works...:)

Thank you Father-thank you so much for loving me enough to help me as I fight through change and as I draw closer to you. Thank you for that sparkle in my eye once I take the time to truly get it and acknowledge what is at work here.
Thank you for your unfailing love and dedication to your sons and daughter's in Christ. I love you Father~Amen