Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the mental, and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution[

~I want to share my journey with you~

Please know that I am not perfect. Every step I take is a new experience for me. My walk with God is very important and I am finally taking a stand, reaching out and choosing to change.
This is a very refreshing moment in my life and I want to embrace every ounce of love and acceptance that I feel at this very moment.
I have never felt God so strong in my life as I do at this very moment. I am finding out what being in love truly means as I venture out of the darkness of my life and into a new light.

~Today I want to share with you what this day entailed for me~

I spent all day just worshiping God-being under this blanket of praise and worship it has been the most intimate, uplifting and gratifying feeling. I feel his love in depth~I can feel his presence so strong in my soul.

I must be honest in saying that although I feel such passion I still feel the physical effects of my addictions. I have chosen freedom from these chains that have binded me for years. As strong as the physical effects have been-the passion in my soul and the yearning in my soul for change is so profound. Make no mistake this is very difficult.
Letting go allows room for freedom but it also forces you to deal with reality-a reality I have spent years trying to forget.

Forgiveness has always appeared to have come easy for me. I am finding that I said the words but my heart and my mind held on to that pain for dear life. This has crippled me. It has also taken me further away from God.
What I have noticed is that forgiving myself has been the hardest. I have buried myself in self afflicting notions because it felt better than the truth. The truth is I am a sinner. The truth is I am a liar, I am an addict, I am a number of things that bring shame to my heart! I feel an overwhelming need to truly repent before the throne of God and beg for mercy for choices that I so selfishly engaged in.
The best thing about this acknowledgment however is that I am FORGIVEN!! I am saved by the blood of the lamb. I am a new creation in Christ~Who I was yesterday is not who I am today; that is the greatest feeling in the world just to know that someone loves me so much that forgiveness is given not deserved! The wretched person that I have become over the years is being transformed and I am thankful beyond words!

"Create in me a CLEAN heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me" Psalm 51:10

"Therefore having been justified by FAITH, we have PEACE with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we STAND; and we exult in HOPE of the glory of God.
And not only this, but we also exult in our TRIBULATIONS, knowing that the tribulation brings about perseverance;
and perseverance, proven character and proven character hope;
and hope does NOT disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was GIVEN to US."
Romans 5:1-5



There is a song that I have clung to these past few days and I can't think of anything that could best describe my experiences and where I am at this very moment~ "Cry Out To Jesus"
The very first day I played this over and over and just wept before God. In an instant I could feel this burden in my chest lift. The anxiety I have fought for almost a century was gone. It was the most amazing and shocking feeling I have experienced yet.

I am so excited as my journey continues~sometimes letting go is truly the only thing you have to do. God is transforming me every day into something beautiful and something pure. I cannot wait to see what God truly has in store for my life.